i think i'm in love

Yesterday Emma gave me her first hug. It was one of the most amazing moments in my life thus far. One of the reasons it's so incredible is that she's not normally a cuddly kind of girl unless we're reading a book or she's tired. When the hug happened, none of these things were taking place. We were sitting at the table, Emma was in her highchair. She's been doing this thing lately where she reaches out for my face and then when I get close to her, she softly brushes my cheeks with her hands. While she does this, she often whispers in her Emma talk. It sounds strange, but it's almost a spiritual thing for me. I of course can't understand what she's saying, but it's like she's praying for me - like she's saying "peace my child". The instructor becomes the instructed.

Anyhow, she did this reaching out motion and touched my checks and then put her arms around my neck. Could my heart get any bigger?! Such a perfect angel, who depends on me for everything and struggles to make sense of the enormous world around her, was saying thank you to me without saying a word. With such a touching moment, I was inspired to write. I'm posting it here with warning that I am incredibly self conscious about my writing. I have convinced myself that no one reads this blog anyway but the poem will be a good memento for Emma to have. So please, no harsh comments.

Love lives in the ballerina movements you made in my belly. In the salt laced tears I looked through to see your face for the first time. In the peaceful worry of your first nap.

Joy dances in the sparkling brilliance of your ocean blue eyes. In the calming cadence of your pure laughter. In the graceful silliness of your mannerisms.

Beauty sings in the strong softness of your face. In the tranquil eye flutters in your sleep. In the lovely pressure of your hands.

I completely and hopelessly love you, Emma, for all the rest of my life.